Oh No
by AhkneeKitteen
Summary: Stephanie was having a normal day. Of course, things were thrown off course when her Texian friend showed up, the arrival foreshadowing a turn of random stuff and somewhatdeep plots of dangers as Sailor Moon folks show up ...


_**Oh No**_

_Ahknee/Kitteen_

_(Disclaimer: I own the plot and myself. Everything else that happens to appear in here belongs to some other random person, I assume.)_

_Wheeee! Welcome, one and all, to the (second time) revised version of this story. Wow. Well, after spending a long, LONG time getting over several major events in my life (including by not limited to the unfortunate passing of my poor mother, the mishaps and misadventures of major testing and all that jazz in school ALONG with several mental breakdowns), I am back and I am ready and rearin' to go! Yay!_

_Remember, dear people, this IS a self-insert. But of course. :D Guest stars a good portion of people that I know and more. FUN! So, yeah. If you don't like this type o' thing, then get your sorry patoot outta here. This chapter's cameo: Aliyah! Also known as the fabulous Ali-chan, co-webmistress of my website. :D_

_As always, this story is going to be completely out-of-whack and unplanned and just purely random. Yes! Now, hi-ho and it's off we go!_

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**_

"Oh.my.god."

With a twitching eye, the fifteen-year-old Stephanie stared down at the envelope that rested within her grasp.

"Last semester grades," she groaned. "Curses. I probably flunked algebra. Grar."

Sighing, she ripped open the envelope and pulled out the sheet that contained her fate for her summer life.

"... A, B-, B, A, C-, B, A+. A-," she recited. The C- was, of course, her algebra grade.

_'Better than an F,'_ she admonished, stuffing the sheet back into the envelope before dropping it on the table for her father to check out, if he cared at all. Not that he really did ... or so the partial Chinese girl thought.

Quickly, she slipped on some flip-flops, pausing to wave at the picture of her late mother, portraying her in her teenage years, up above the blocked-off enterance to Steph's doorway.

"Love ya bye, mom," she told the portrait before grabbing her keys and heading out, locking the empty house behind her.

Quickly, she looped the chain of her keys around her belt loop before stepping off of the porch and heading out for her two-mile walk to her friend, Aliyah's, apartment. Curse the fact that she and her pal lived on opposite sides of the town.

Her friend was heading off to visit the rest of her family during summer before heading out for vacation in some remote land far, far away, or something akin to that. Since the rest of Steph's friends had already gone off for vacation to some remote land far, far away, it left her to hold up the home front and to keep in touch with the latest gossip around town that concerned her pals.

However, the ever-desperate Stephanie had one last task she wanted to do with her single-remaining friend.

Stephanie was, of course, the most average and dull girl one could ever meet. She had hair that would've fallen to her mid-back, had it not gotten into a stage of banana-curls halfway down; her hair was a shade of such a deep brown that many assumed it to be black.

She was fairly tall, hitting a height of five-foot six inches. She also considered herself fat, thus considering the reason she was on a food portion diet to lose some weight that really made gym class horrible for her.

Glasses hid her knowing brown eyes and she also made a point to hide her sarcastic, snarky side behind a kinder demeanor.

Now that the somewhat-late description is over with, we'll be moving on.

Steph approached the ever-busy Manchester, disliking how there were so many cars flying down the road at one time. This would certainly hinder her progress to her friend's place.

Finally, an opening appeared and she quickly jogged across the four-road lane. Once safely on the other side, she spared only a brief glance at her former best friend's apartment before heading off to finish off her rather long walk.

_**

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**_

Aliyah. Ever impatient Aliyah was the one friend in the whole town Stepanie had that could speak at least _some_ Japanese and had the same unhealthy obsession with anime and Japanese things in general (particularly the Jrock scene).

Aliyah was, amazingly, patiently waiting for Steph to arrive at the apartment so that they could head off to the local Borders to pick up their reserved copy of the third episode of D.N. Angel. They had spent a fair few months getting some thirty dollars saved up for it, they were not going to miss out on the day they were to fetch it.

Soon, a knock rained upon the door and Aliyah jumped up and quickly opened it.

"Ali-chaaaaaaaannn!" came Steph's sing-song tone.

The dark-skinned girl just blinked in response to her friend's unexpected tone.

Steph bounced into the room, a type of grin on her face that would make any sane man climb up a burning tree in an attempt to escape it.

"You won't _believe_ what I saw on the way over here," Steph began. "You know that super hot dude we saw at Borders like, two months ago?"

"Yeah," Aliyah responded.

"Hehehe, I ran into him _again_. Poor soul looked kinda downtrodden, so I asked the fellar, quote, "What's shakin', bacon?" He simply replied that his slutty girlfriend dumped him for some random American punk-dude. I snagged his phone number for ... _consolation purposes_," the mad grin on the girl's face grew to a Cheshire-cat-like size, if even possible.

Aliyah's eyes bugged out for a brief moment before she did her odd little diddy of a giggle. Normally, this upset her companion, but today, Steph was a bit too proud of her accomplishment to be bothered with it, and instead, she let out a loud, crazed laugh.

Aliyah promptly stopped her own giggling long enough to stare at her friend, who did nothing more but continue laughing.

"Could you ... stop?" she asked hesitantly. The other girl continued to laugh.

Meekly, "Please?"

Steph stopped on cue, having mastered it over the past couple of months.

"Satisfied?" she queried, tilting her head innocently to the dark-skinned girl.

"Quite," came the dry response.

"Great! Heeeey, let's go already, I wanna get to watchin' that D.N. Angel before ya leave," Steph remarked.

Aliyah nodded, "Alright!"

Ten minutes later found the girls getting totally and completely sidetracked at Borders, drooling over the latest releases and complaining about the prices.

"Whooo, the second Alichino!" Steph squealed softly, reaching upwards and grabbing said manga. "Been wanting this baby for a while now."

"Ooooh, lemme see!" Aliyah snatched the book from her companion's grasp.

"Heeey!"

"Just a second! You already know the stupid plot, anyway."

Steph pouted, one of those rare occurences of life, and Aliyah looked up long enough to catch, and to make a face, at the expression.

Aliyah grinned, "That look was _so_ priceless."

Steph's pout was quickly covered by a rather large grin, "Quite."

Once the two girls were satisfied with their ventures through the store, they headed out and back to Aliyah's apartment to watch the episode.

_**

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**_

Two days later, Stephanie was parked in front of the computer, doing whatever it is that she does on the computer during summer vacation. Of course, whatever she was doing was totally and completely boring her out of her wits, and thusly, she was feeling the odd sensation of dozing off, yet still being perfectly aware of all the things happening around her.

Suddenly, one of her rather favorite Jrock songs popped onto Winamp, breaking her out of her dazed state. On reflex, her head started to bob to the tune as she sang along to the song _Pink Spider_.

Sudden, there was a knock at the front door. Seeing as her dad was off in Columbia to work for some good cash AND some tune-ups for the old Dodge Dart that was just wasting away in the driveway (mainly due to the fact that it was her mother who always drove it, and it was always associated with her mother) and her sister was off at the pool, she was left home along, dodging the people she was told to dodge and answering the door for people she was told to like. Jumping up, she paused her music and stepped lightly through the kitchen and into the livingroom, not bothering with the peephole on the front door and instead upturning the shade that covered the door window just a little to see who was at the door.

Sadly, what she was greeted by on the other side of the door nearly made her topple onto her caboose from shock. She barely recognized te face on the other side of the door, but when she put a name to it, she was truly and completely shocked by the results of her find.

"Holy shiznik!" she wailed, unlocking and flinging open the door in record time.

"JAZINATOR!" she screeched loud enough to make a dear person go even more deaf than they already were (if that was even possible, of course).

The girl on the other side of the doorway flinched at the volume of Steph's voice.

"Ouch! Quiet, will ya?"

Steph replied with a sheepish grin, "Sorry. Just didn't expect you, of all the people in the world, to turn up at my doorstep."

'Jazinator' grinned, "Surprised?"

"You sure as hell bet I am."

Jazinator was actually named Jasmine, and was a year older than Stephanie. She had light brown-ish hair that seemed to glisten with some natural highlights and crystalline green eyes, not quite that of a jade color, but still lovely all the same.

She was quite a few inches shorter than Steph, which irritated her to no end. Steph had been a mere five-foot three inches the last time the two had bothered with height comparisons; Jazz was now just a wee bit shorter (which left her cursing her genetics).

Jasmine was known as being very social around the 'net, which has led to the inevitable silence between the two friends over their internet lives during the past few years (and, even, small little things seperated the two even more).

Silence blanketed the two girls as they each sized each other up.

"...so," Stephanie began, "... how'd you get up to Missouri when you live way down in Texas?"

Jasmine threw a furtive glance over her shoulder before shrugging, a small grin working its way upon her features.

"I have my ways ..." responded the older girl, grinning a mysterious grin.

"I don't like that grin of yours ... you look like a cat who just found out a way to catch an elusive mouse," Steph remarked.

"Maybe I did," Jazz responded with a grin.

Steph sighed, "Alright. Come in, won't ya? My dad won't be home for another handful of hours and my sister's too busy turning red as a lobster to come home."

Jazz made a face, "What?"

"Dad's off in Columbia working overtime; Jen's getting a tan ... or a sunburn. Depends on how you look at it," Steph replied with a shrug.

Jazz blinked, "Oh, alright."

"Sit down, please. I'll make a glass of tea for you. You do like ice tea, right?"

"Sure."

Ten minutes later found the two girls conversing on current matters happening down in their lives.

"School's been a total bitch," Steph sighed. "Finals were so horrible; I keeled over and died at the thought of them. Surpsied I still managed to get into the next grade!"

"Same here," Jazz responded.

"Bleah, and I nearly didn't get out of last year because I turned in my stupid graduation pictures late! The nerve, that stressed me out beyond all possibilities. I hate how penny-pinching my stupid school is."

"Ha! You think _that's_ bad you should've seen the crud I was going through the whole year!"

The phone decided to ring at that moment, cutting off Jazz. Steph glared at the phone before reaching over and answering it on the second ring.

"Hello? ... yes ... right ... now? Um, okay ... alright, yeah ... I get ya ... alrighty, sure. See you in a bit."

"Who was that?" Jazz asked, curiousity picking at her.

"My aunt," Steph replied, her eye twitching. "She wants to stop by with with her kids for the day just to see what's shakin' around here ... but not in those particular words."

"Oh, I see," Jazz paused. "... and that's bad, why?"

"Um, my cousins are weird, for one, the house is a mess, for reason number two, and three, I'M THE ONLY ONE HERE!" Steph wailed. "I don't wanna deal with theeeemmm!"

Jazz's eyes bugged out at her friend's outburst.

"Um, I'm sure it can't be _that_ bad," Jazz tried to comfort.

If anything, that remark caused Stephanie to freak out even more.

Within thirty minutes, the house had been made to look somewhat-decent by the bugged-out Stephanie and a mildly confused Jasmine. Well, at least the living room looked decent. The girls had just shut the two doors that led to the master bedroom and Jennifer's bedroom; the latter being a disaster area and the former being .. infested with laundry baskets, oddly enough. Well, such is life.

Jazz had collasped upon the couch in the living room, sprawled out on it and groaning in agony. How the hell could one house be so damn messy?

Steph, however, was sitting on the other, single-person couch, fidgeting about in a slightly nervous manner. Family. Visit. All the stuff hidden? Hopefully.

"Done buggin' out?" Jazz asked, half-dead from their speedy clean up.

"Far from it," came the short reply.

"Well, try to stop buggin' out, then."

"I will. Gimme a moment."

There was a long moment of silence before a laugh wormed itself into Steph's throat; the girl could do nothing more than let it out, sounding crazier than she probably was.

Jazz shot up from her seat, looking at her friend as if she had rocketed just right off of her rocker.

"What the hell?" Jazz asked.

Steph couldn't speak because she was laughing so insanely hard.

"... crap," was all Jazz managed out as she slapped a hand to her forehead.

The doorbell decided to take this opportune moment to ring. Steph's laughter abruptly stopped and she plastered a very fake smile onto her face.

"Do I sound cheery?" she asked Jazz, her voice ringing with dripping happiness.

"Overly so," Jazz responded, still freaked out beyond all measure.

Steph just shrugged, giving her reply, "Good."

Jazz felt that jumping out of the windows right now would probably be a _very_ wonderful idea; after all, it sounded mighty appealing.

Steph answered the door. Jazz waited in anticipation.

In walked three people as Steph stepped out of the way.

"Jazz, take my seat, will ya?" Steph asked.

"Sure."

Steph plopped herself onto the floor after shutting the front door, while Jazz took Steph's former seat and the three guests took the long couch for themselves.

Steph still had that smile plastered on her face. Jazz was getting quite sick of it, to the point of being, literally, sick.

"Sooo," Steph began, "What inspired you guys to drop on by for a visit?"

"Oh, we were just wondering what was happening with everyone here. How's it been?" the only woman of the group asked.

"Fine," Steph responded.

"Food still in the fridge?" continued the woman.

"Yep. Food stamps are helpful."

"Everything keeping in semi-nice shape?"

"Of course."

"Jennifer's room cleaned up yet?"

"Of course not. What would _ever _give you an idea such as that?"

"Oh, what a shame."

There was a pause.

"Oh, yeah," Steph remembered. "Jazz, this is my aunt, Peggy, and my cousins, Jeffery and Jason. Everyone, this is my friend, Jasmine."

"Oh, nice to meet you!" Peggy smiled.

"You too, ma'am," Jasmine smiled back at the woman, who seemed not at all as bad as Stephanie had made them out to be.

"So, where's your friend from?" Peggy tried to strike up conversation.

"Texas," came two replies, one reply came monotone, the other came cheerily.

"Oh, really? What's it like down there?"

Jazz grinned, "Boring. BUUUT, there is this _awesome_ anime convention held near my town every year, and it's just the bomb."

"Haven't heard that term used in a while," Steph remarked dryly.

"Really? Eh, me neither," Jazz shrugged. "Popped outta nowhere, huh?"

"Right out of the blue," Steph replied with a laugh.

"Have all of you been keeping the peace?" Peggy questioned once more.

"Not really. Those two keep biting the other's head off. Amusing to watch, dangerous to get caught up in. I refuse to mediate their fights. It's nasty. NASTY, I SAY!"

Jazz stared at Steph like the girl had lost her mind. Steph gave her pal a furtive wink.

"Oh, the horror, those two bark and yell and bite at eachother until the cows come home," Steph whined.

Jazz was starting to take the hint. Apparently, Steph was attempting to weird her relatives away.

And poor Steph seemed to be running low on random. So, in a final, futile attempt at randomness, she grasped for the last straw she could think of (the thought made her gag, mainly because of the straw reference).

"Wanna hear a story?" Steph asked enthusiastically. "My buddy and I worked on it at school, y'know, and it was hilarious. The teacher loved it!"

What a lie.

"Um, sure," Peggy blinked.

Steph cleared her throat, "There once was a woman from Nantucket. She was trying to write a poem, but she couldn't think of anything to rhyme with Nantucket. So, in her anguish, she grabbed a musket and shot at a buildling shaped bucket. Alas, she was arrested for illegal possession of a musket. Oh, woe. Once she was released from jail, she jumped off of a bucket-shaped buildling."

Peggy and company looked freaked out at the pure randomness of the story. Even Jazz's eye began to subtly twitch at the tale.

"And there' more!" Steph cheered. "My buddy came up with THIS part, and it deals with a bucket-shaped pigeon who-"

"Oh, dear, I'm sorry," Peggy glanced down at her watch. "I just now remember, Jeffery has a doctor's appointment in just a bit. We must go, maybe you can tell us this story later?"

"Sure," Steph's grin took on that same look that it had earlier, with Aliyah. Jazz wanted to climb up a burning tree to escape the look.

And with that, the Three Musketeers left.

Steph breathed a sigh of relief before flopping down and onto the couch her relatives had sat on just seconds earlier.

"YES!" the part-Asian cheered.

"I don't see why you were so worked up over your aunt and cousins coming over," Jazz remarked, only after she had gotten over the initial shock of the random insanity of her friend.

Steph shrugged, "There've been one too many situations that we have had together that I'd rather not remember."

"... oh," Jazz remarked, a blank look crossing her face. Boy, times sure had changed ...

"Anyway," Steph began, switching topics. "It's summer vacation, the whole day is still ahead of us, and we are bored little girls. What's there to do ... ?"

"Like hell if **I** know," Jazz replied, "I just got here."

"Not too many hangouts 'round here," Steph responded sheepishly. "We could go to the Bread Co., or hang at Borders like little geeks. Possibly walk around the galleria?"

Jazz blinked.

"... Like hell if I know whether those places are supposed to be amusing or not."

Steph shot her a cheeky grin, "Either way, they are all on the other side of town.

Jazz twitched, "We're walking, aren't we?"

"Unless you wanna try and let me drive that Dart out in the driveway ..."

"... hell _no_."

_**

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**_

Two miles proved to be quite a bit for the two girls to walk, seeing as neither of them seemed at all used to walking that much in one go.

"Why ... me?" Jazz panted as she collapsed in front of St. Louis Bread Co. with a ragged breath.

Steph, once more, grinned that grin that would make any sane man climb up a burning tree to escape it. It could make one think the girl was a masochist, for heaven's sake!

"... are you a masochist or something?" Jazz queried.

"After shakin' 'round with Ali-chan, hell yeah!" Steph cackled, catching the attention of some random people passing nearby and causing her to earn weird stares.

"Nehehe, that makes one-thousand, two-hundred and forty-eight!" Steph cheered.

Jazz stared, "Uuuhm ... eh?"

"One-thousand, two-hundred and forty-nine, now," Steph grinned cheekily. "Weird stares count. Inside joke. Kinda."

"Uh ... huh ..."

"Let's grab a cup of water!" Steph remarked before heading into Bread Co. with a flourish.

Jazz merely groaned in response.

After a few more mishaps and misadventures, the girls were lounging on one of the couches in Borders, one looking half-dead and the other looking for all the world like she had just had several cups of coffee.

"How can you have so much damned energy?" Jazz asked.

"Um ... I just can?" Steph shrugged. "I'm usually not this active. I guess it's the rush of being outside for so long for the first time in a while!"

"Ugh, you need to calm down, woman."

"That's what Emily said one day; it totally failed to work, y'know,."

Jazz simply crushed her palm to her forehead once more for her response.

_**

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**_

Later on that day, Steph and Jazz were sitting around in Steph's house, enjoying the silence while munching on some ice cream that Steph had managed to dig out of the freezer.

"Mmm, y'know, the other day, I saw a bird fly into the window in there," Steph remarked, pointing to the window of the master bedroom. "It was so freakin' funny, I just toppled over with laughter."

Jazz oogled the window, "How come the window didn't get damaged?"

"I have absolutely no clue. Guess the bird wasn't getting enough velocity or whatever the hell that term is."

"You're so weird," Jazz muttered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing!"

"Riiiiight ..."

Silence took a moment to settle in. It was broken by Steph suddenly striking up a random topic.

"Wanna listen to some jrock?"

**_

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_**

_So ends chapter one, which was very lame and slow. This is the part where I'm supposed to apologize and all that jazz for the lameless, but, y'know, I just don't have the energy to seeing as I just dun wanna. XP Nyah!_

_... yeah, I'm on something._


End file.
